50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
tampons are so expensive why do i have to spend 8 dollars to shove some cotton up my vag…..fuck capitalism actually
- Guy in my class on the topic of the school trip: Wait. There's only two beds per room? Whoa. No way. I am not sleeping with one of you. I'm not, like, gay or something. Cant we just pay for another room? Like, I'm not gay.
- His friend: Dude just because we're sharing a bed doesn't mean you're gonna be waking up to a fresh cup of my dick up your ass
can the united states just chill for one day
Nigga the USA hasn’t chilled since fuck boy Chris sailed his ass here by mistake